The Most Mauve There Is by Nancy Springer



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Middle-schooler Avery Holsopple is already struggling with the fact that he's the shortest guy in school. To make matters worse, his older sister Valerie has insisted on having a Victorian-style wedding, which means Avery is about to find himself dressed up in the worst color he can imagine for a boy: pink. Of course, Mom insists the color is "mauve" but Avery's eyes know the truth. Desperate to get out of his duties he hatches a plan with Mark, Valerie's fiancé, and ensures that this wedding is one that nobody is ever going to forget.

EXCERPT:

The true horror of my situation didn’t hit me until the family females took us family males to be measured for our “formalwear.” Up till then, I thought my sister’s wedding, and her sugar-brained idea of what I was supposed to do in it, would just go away, you know? She was always breaking up with guys, so what made this Mark whatshisface any different? I hadn’t been paying much attention.

But what I saw in the Tuxedos and More store woke me up so fast I freaked.

“I’m not! I won’t! You can’t do this to me!” I yelled when they brought out my “ensemble”: shiny black buckle shoes like Christopher Robin going to visit Winnie-the-Pooh, and white stockings, short pants with black ribbon bows at the knees, a little bitty black jacket with tails, a white shirt with ruffles, and I’m thirteen years old, for gosh sake. “Ewww! I’d rather be the flower girl!”

“Hush up, Avery Alexander.” Mom’s use of my first and middle name signaled an orange level of alert for potential parental terrorism. Quick, I checked Dad, but the look on his face didn’t belong there. My father’s all about taking charge, so why did he seem, like, helpless?

“I’m the flower girl!” screeched my brat kid sister who always takes everything seriously. “I get to scatter the rose petals! Valerie said!”

“Shhh, Julie,” Mom told her a lot more gently than she had shushed me. “Of course you’re the flower girl. Avery’s just being—”

I cut her off. “I’m just being sane! Get some little kid who won’t care. I’m too big to be a ring bearer!” 

  • Published by: Untreed Reads


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